Useless Babble

11:52pm: Almost done
School is almost over! YEAH


I don't know if my professor could have assigned any more to do this week. I had a test and a quiz on Tuesday and I have my final on Tuesday of next week along with two projects that he handed out last Thursday due on the day of the final. Talk about alot to do for one class and in one week.

I did get a B on my calc test which was the hardest test I have ever taken. That made my week better!

3:17pm: Another Day
Well today hasnt been so bad, yet for me it is just starting. I dont have class till 7 but it looke like it is going to snow :(

9:04pm: It was fun
No Spell check ingnore spelling.... :(

There has been alot that has been going on in my life right now. One of the main things is my grandma. She had been in the hospital since October 12. She went in because she was acting fuuny. When she talked she didnt make any sense. So they took her in and she was complaining that her head hurt and that he stomach hurt. They found out that she had phneomua and they did a CT of both areas and found nothing wrong with the stomach but they found a mass on the left side of her brain. They did an MRI the next day and found that it was a toumor. So a week later she started having seizurs. They were going to wait until the phenomia went away before taking the toumor out. The seizurs made them take it out early. So I have been dealing with this, my brother being an ass as usual. My mom, I fell so bad for becausee she is worrying aobut my brother and taking care of his things and now she has to worry about her mom too. I feel like I cant do anything. I havent been able to visit my grandma in a while because I have been sick, and I am starting to feel the effect of not being able to see her.

I have work and school on top of this. I am working almost 40 hours a week and I am taking Calc. I actually thing that I am doing very well in Calc considering what has been going on. Granted it isnt the grade that I want but I will have to deal with what I get this semester. I did pass the gateway thoough, so that is a lot off my mind. The gateway is a test you have to pass with a 90% to go on to calc 2 and even pass calc 1. SO i finished that and I also finished my practium for work. That was part of my new potistion at work, we had to go through several traingin classe sand d othis 40 hours practium. I am glad that I am done with that because I wasnt able to put my mind to my calc homework because i was thinking about it also. So that is the good thing that happened I passed it! WHOOT.

That it enough babbeling, I have homework.

5:22pm: Oh My
It has been a while sine I have posted. There has been a lot going on right now. There actually is way too much going on right now.

I have been in school for more than a month now and I am still a bit stressed. I have seen that I have been doing better since I am only taking one class and it is at night. That is a good thing because I am not a morning person. I like my sleep it is the best part of the day, and since I can’t sleep that well at night having a class at night really helps because I can sleep in. Now there are days were I actually get up at 7 because I picked up a morning shift at work. I don’t do this often but I do pick them up for some extra money. There is also the knilting group that I get up for to go to and Tuesdays. It is worth getting up. I get to spend some time with friends from work, talking. Knitting quilting and any other crafts that you can think of. It is a great time to relax and have fun.

There has been more happening with my brother. He has been getting into more trouble. I never thought when we were growing up that he would turn out like this. Last Saturday we had to go bail him out of jail because he decided to get his bike back from someone that wouldn’t give it back to him. So instead of calling the police and telling them that this person had his bike he broke into their garage and took his bike. I have a feeling that this is going to be a common event for my brother dealing with the police. I wish that it wasn’t. So there is a bit of stress at home also.

At work OMG I don’t think that there could be anymore stress. The library has been going under a renovation since late June early July and it is just about over. We have been working in half the library at a time. One half closed while they work on it then they switched sides. There has been a lot of noise, moving of books and a lot of events that made it a bit worse than it could have been. One of those events was when the workers decided to cut off our air conditioning supply for the work room. This was in the middle of the summer and it was about 100* outside. So the brought a swamp cooler in to give us some cool air but the smell from that was worse than the heat. I think that it would have been better if we were closed through the remodel rather than being open. They (the workers) would have been finished sooner and we wouldn’t have had to deal with all the things that we did. Let’s just say it has been an experience.

10:20am: Yumm
Yesterday I thought that I had to work, it turns out that I have to work next Sunday. Well my parents were home and we decided that a pulled pork sandwich sounded really good. The best place to get a pulled pork sandwich is in Winterpark. So we got in the car and drove and hour and a half to have a sandwich. I know that this seems odd and in a way kinda dumb. We got there ate and left. It was so good, worth driving there and sittng in traffic on the way home!

5:31pm: HOT!
OMG, I knew this was goin to happen. After that long 3-4 day rain event, we get this!
Since Friday it has been really hot here. Yesterday and today we broke the high heat record that was set in 1902. It was 103* here today and a couple degrees cooler yesterday. Friday was no better with the heat but i dont think that we broke a record. So much for all that rain that we had!

10:26pm: Ha

You Are A Fig Tree

You are very independent and strong minded. A hard worker when you want to be, you play hard too. You are honest and loyal. You hate contradiction or arguments. You love life, and you live for your friends, children, and animals. A great sense of humor, artistic talent, and intelligence are all gifts you possess.

8:04pm: It was ...
Saw Pirates today, it was a good movie. I have heard of people talking about the ending having a bit of a twist! They were right. I never would have thought that what happened would happen. I know that they filmed a third movie. I am trying to figure out what could happen in it. What really got me is the person that came back :O that was a huge suprise!

1:19am: Scarry
This is a bit scary, this almost fits me perfectly!

You Are 1: The Reformer

You're a responsible person - with a clear sense of right and wrong. High standards are important to you, and you do everything to meet them. You are your own worst critic, feeling ashamed if you're not perfect. You have the highest integrity, and people expect you to be fair.

12:45am: FUN FUN FUN
There were several things that happened today that were fun, some are sarcastic!

1. It has been raining here for 48 hours. We went two almost three months with no rain at all, and now it wont stop raining. We do need to rain yes, but it is causing mud slides and is also causing rocks to fall on the roads in the mountains. -- Rocks falling on the road while you are driving is not fun. These are not small rock these are boulders. They had to close the canyon today for hours delaying traffic. It was a mess. Fun event #2 explains why this even matters...

2. We went up to the casinos today. My parents and me. It was alot of fun, spending time like that with my parents. We dont get to do it often because we are always working. The casions are in the mountains, in a small town of Black Hawk. There are two ways that you can get to Black Hawk, one is on I-70, which you want to avoid at all costs. The second is the canyon which was closed, so we were stuck driving up there on I-70 with all the tourrists and semis. UGGG people need to learn to drive. I couldnt beging to count all the idiots on the road.

Any way back to the FUN stuff! My mom and I played video poker, Duces wild mostly. My dad went off and played what ever it is he plays. We had alot of fun, buy the time we even looks at a clock it was 10:30 pm. We havent had anything to eat and we still had to drive back into town. I think that we both lost money but I know that I left with some! That is always a good thing.




-----------------------------------

And of course I cant make a post without bitching about my brother. So I wont let you down today!

He has done it again! Pissed me off that is. I had a new 2 dollar bill in my check book sleve, and he took it. I dont think that he has any idea about how people attach to things. He doesnt care about what he is doing. I bet he didnt even think that the bill could mean anything to me. Then I asked him about it and he said "i didnt take it." What else is new that is his normal response! So I went to two banks looking for one today and they didnt have any. I have a feeling this is going to be hard to get ahold of a new one angain. I'll have to keep checking for them.

11:17pm: One down Five to go
Today was an exciting day. Today was my first day of training for my new job well promotion. I dont think that it is going to be that hard. My first homwork assignment is to go to another library and see if they can find a read alike for me. I am actually hopeing that the classes are going to get harder.

10:13pm: Oh Brother: Ranting post!
Yesterday was Fathers Day. I had the whole day planned. I would suprise my dad in the morning with his gift that he had no idea about. I was really excited. So I woke up and I gave him his card. His present was inside. Concert tickets to Three Dong Night, and Grand Funk Railroad. He was really excited! :) So the day goes by we continue to paint the outside of the house. We made chicken wings (the real kind from buffalo, seeing that we are from Buffalo)before we left for the concert. Oh man were they good!!

So we leave for the concert at 2:30, it starts at 4:00 we got out of there at 9ish arrived home at 10 or so only to find the house completly destroyed. I am talking about couches being moved tabels out of place flower posot and candles on the floor. Soda spilt all over the kitichen floor along with a watermelon that I was planning on eathing all over the floor. My moms good dining room table had sticky stuff all over it along with the good formal sofa that is in the front room. The vase by the froont door was broken and the hardwood floor curved stairs that my dad put in were broken. Little pieces that hung off the edge of the stair a bit. There was soda all over the carpent in the front room. Lets just say that my dad and I had fun cleaning up the mess because my brother was lying on his bed drunk.

I dont want to be here when my mom gets home from her vacation. That is right she isnt in the country. :S I did manage to get the soda out of the good couch. Thank god for scotch guard!!!! The carpet I had to clease twice and I think it is going to need a carpent cleaning maching rather than my fingers. The floor is still sticky even after washing it twice.

I am really pissed at my brother right now. He ruined my dad perfect day that I had planned. It really made me sad. My dad didnt deserve this. He asked my brother what happened and my brother said "I dont know" I want to strangle him (my brother that is) but I like my freedom so I am not going to!

5:50pm: Ford Again ugg
Okay Ford pissed me off again!

I went to renew my plates for my new car and the DMV said that I still have my name titled to the explorer that ford bought back. I was a bit confused by this seeing that they bought it back a year ago. So i had to drive all over town today to get this taken care of. DMV Ford then back to the DMV. It was a busy day!

8:31pm: MEN UGGGGGG
Venting time! Just to let you all know!!!!!

I am to lazy to check for spelling, just ignore it!!!!!


So there is a very nice lady that used to work at the same branch that I do, she is now at a different branch. Well when she was at my branch we talked alot and had alot of fun. Well she called about a month ago and asked me if she could give my number to this guy that works at the same branch as her. She told me a little about him, he seemed really nice so I said that it was okay for her to give him my number.

So he calls and he still seems nice. He asked me out bowling, it was alot of fun. Then the next time we went out to a movie. On the way back from the movie we talked about my allergies and my asthma and general stuff about each other, but the asthma was a big topic. This was another thing that he said. I think that this might work out except for the fact that you are smarter than me. (WTF, what century are you living in? It isnt my fault that you dont want to go to college. Was going through my head.)

I didnt hear from him for a couple days then he called. I asked him if he wanted to join my coworker and I in oour traditional Monday night beer. So he met us there and this is where all the fun started. First he brought a whole bunch of his friends. I was just expecting him. Second, he sits in front of me and this is was really pissed me off. He lights us a cigriett and blows the smoke in my face right after our discussion. So I go out side to get some fresh air and after a while I come back in and I move to a different table. One of his friends asked my friend why I had moved and she told him. His friend to his cigeritte from him and put it out. I was still sitting at the other table and he finally comes over and sits next to me. After the smoke cleared I went back over to the table where everyone was, only for a little bit I was planning on leaving. So I pay MY tab and I am walking out to leave and get this he wants a hug. I told him know because he smelt like somke and he through his arms in the air and walked back inside.

I didnt hear from him for a while then I get a text message from him. Which I dont have in my service plan.(Cant wait to get that bill)That says Or how about a simple hello. I didnt have a phone number for him so i had no idea who this was. I called the number to find out who sent it and it was him. I was out with my friend again and when I called. So he askes to join us. I said okay, being nice I was going to give him another chance. I aksed him why he didnt call. He said he didnt call because he thought that I was pissed at him, which I was but you should still call. So he comes down, then his friend calls, they are all at his house and he asked me if I wanted to go there to watch a movie. This is after working a 12 hour day. So I said maybe next time. Then he asked me to go see a movie at the place down the street. (For some reason he loves to see movies) I didnt feel like watching one so I asked if we could just talk and hang out for a bit. Well it ended up being 12:30 when we left. I thought that everthing was going well. Then the next day I get a text message again that saya "Whats up BITCH" Now i am pissed, I do not like swearing in general and to be sworen at. So the next time he calls It is over. That is the rudest thing that anyone has done in a long time. UGGGGGG MEN

9:28pm: My Brother is an ASS
I know that some already know what happened with my brother. I feel like venting again! So here is what happened. About two weeks ago my brother decided to get into a really bad car accident. He totaled two cars his and the lexus he hit. Then it got even better. He was drunk! I cant believe how stupid he was. So because of this he was arrested and he had his drivers license revoked for about a year and he has no car now. I talked to him when he finally decided to come home. I knew that my parents talked to him already and i wanted to talk to him. I asked him why he decided to make the choice that he did. He really wasnt paying attention to me, he was acting like i was waisting his time. So I asked him if he knew why I was talking to him about this and he said "yes, because I wrecked my car." I was dumbfounded at this. I said to him, do you really think that I care about a car? Cars can be replaced. At this point I broke down. This was after he left. I needed to talk to someone so I called my best friend and I talked to her for a while. She really helped me with this. Telling me that I should take off work the next day to give my self some me time. So i went over to her house and hung out. I dont know what I would do without her!

So the next week Thursday my only day off of the week. I had to drive him around town. I had to pick him up from work so that we could go down to the court house and pay for his ticket. Then I had to take him to the DMV so he could surrender his license.

It gets even better though. When my dad picked him up from jail he found out that my brother had a previous ticket that he didnt pay or go to the court date for. So now there is a warrant out for his arrest.

11:50pm: I never thought of this, well maybe I have
NOTE: Ignore spelling!! It is late and I dont feel like running spell check.

Are there people in the world that were meant to be alone? There was a time that I thought that there was someone out there for everyone. I know that this is silly seeing that I still have most of my life in front of me. There was something that I noticed tonight that I havent felt in a long time. It was a rare sensation that I dont really remeber. I know that I have some point in my life. I think that this sensation was the deep down feeling if wanting to be wanted. I am not talking about friends, parents, sibiling. I am talking about some one really wanting you. Thinking that their life would be empty without you. I know that this is silly to want this at such a young age. But to tell you the truth I am mentally alot older than I am physically. There is one little catch though. I have a fear of people. There was and still is a moment in my life that I learned to be alone. I noticed that this works out because there is no way that you can be hurt by someone if you are alone. There is one thing that I did notice though. I hurt my self. I know that this might not make sense to some. Well there are only three people that read this so... Here is what I am talking about.

When I was five I was told that I had sevre allergies and that they will probally never go away. The allergies brought on other problems. Eczema was the first to appear. This caused me to have sores all over my legs and arms. The second was asthma. These were just side effects, the problems were with people. Throughout elementary school even through high school, I was teased, made fun of, tourmented and hurt not only by children but by adults. There was a time that we were going on vacation to Hawaii and when we were getting on the plane the lady that was going to sit next to my Grandmother and I as my grandmother if I had chicken pox. This wasnt in a thought out emotional consederate way, this was falt out. I will never forget what my grandmother said. " Ma'am I wish that was all that it was because that goes away after time." There was that moment that I knew that I wasnt compeletly alone in the world even though it felt like it. Because of the way that I was treated I learned to stick to my slef. This way there would be no one to hurt me. There was one time that I thought that I was doing well.I had opened up my life and my past to two people. One of which I loved and the other cared about like a sister. Then as soon as I let them in completly, they both with the some event proved to me that I was right before. That it is better to be alone.

Even though the challenges that I have faced have made me a stronger person and my choices in the past kept me safe. I have noticed that they are hurting me now. There is a part of mee that I feel that wants to go out and meet people, have a realationship with some one. Then there is the part of me that was hurt before that is telling me to live like the past. Stick to my self and you wont get hurt. I know that getting hurt is part of the game but I have had to deal with so much of it I dont think that I can handel any more.

I am proud of my self though. I have opened up to two people again. Both are really good friends. One of the m Imeat at work. She is my age and has shown me that people my age can change. They arent all like they used to be. There are some out there that are kind and understanding. I know there is a few amount of these people in the world, but I can always hope for more. I havent opened my self up to them that much. I still have the urge to consiel my self from them with the fear that they will hurt me.

Here is one of the problems that I am facing. Is there a man out there that isnt obsessed in the way people look? Is there actually a man or even people out there that think of people but their intelligence and their humor? I think that there are but I think that there are few. I h ave noticed this when going ot with my friend from work. We go out on the weekends and for some reason each time that we go out someone asks her to dance or if she would like a drink. There is a part of me that would like that to happen. The quesiton that keeps running through my head is, will that ever happen?

9:00am: What do you think of me??
Please click on the link and pick 5-6 words that you think describe me!!

Thanks!


http://kevan.org/johari?name=Belanna4

8:38pm: Blah ( ignore spelling there is no word at work :( )
You see what happenes when I am bored out of my mind!!! I post stupid little
things like those! I need to find something to keep me busy.

I think today I had my fair share of stupid people. It seemed like they were
everywhere. There was no escaping them. I had to dael with them when I was
driving to school when I was at school when I was driving home from school
and patrons at work. I normally can tolerate people like this but from some
reason I was in a less friendly mood today. There was a boy that was sitting
behind me in physics today and I wanted to take a phaser rifel to him.Muhahaha that would be sooooo much fun! He was the most immiture person that I have met. It was like he was still in
middle school. He was talking about the professor and how that he takes to
long to work problems out.Which actually should be a blessing! My professor last semester didnt do anything like this semester. I love this professor! It wasnt just what they were talking about it was how they were talking about him. The professor finally had to tell them to shut up, that he was starting the lecture. They have no respect for anyone.UGGGGG I should have turned and gave them the death glare!!

Work has been fun I know that there are several times when it has been slow and that makes work worse, but for some reason today there have been alot of challanges that I had to deal with. There were alot of trying patrons that I had to deal with. Most of them were yelling at me because their hold expired. What can I do about that. I cant become there personal day planner! I hav a hard enough time keeping track of my own life!


Well it is 15 minutes till we close and I should get to work, there are some hold to file!

4:31pm: Oh yeah!!!

4:25pm: Muhahaha



E I love the one that it says about you ;) haha that is really funny. Not that you are like that at all!!!!

4:20pm: Just bored

4:17pm: My Planet

You Are From Mercury

You are talkative, clever, and knowledgeable - and it shows. You probably never leave home without your cell phone! You're witty, expressive, and aware of everything going on around you. You love learning, playing, and taking in all of what life has to offer. Be careful not to talk your friends' ears off, and temper your need to know everything.

4:11pm: HAHA my brothers

Your Homicidal Rampage! by crash_and_burn
Your name:
Weapon of Choice:	Chicken McNuggets
Your Favorite Target:	Crack dealers
Your Kill Count:	44,261,965
Your Battle Cry:	"I got mad skillz, yo!"
Years You Spend in Jail:	28
How Much Money In Damages You Cause:	$99,914,200,866,576
Your Homocidal Insanity Level:: 100%
Quiz created with MemeGen!

4:07pm: Muhahahaha

Your Homicidal Rampage! by crash_and_burn
Your name:
Weapon of Choice:	Chain gun
Your Favorite Target:	Emo-kids
Your Kill Count:	540,371,538
Your Battle Cry:	"Mutha fuckaaaaaaas!"
Years You Spend in Jail:	29
How Much Money In Damages You Cause:	$186,842,039,444,149
Your Homocidal Insanity Level:: 11%
Quiz created with MemeGen!

6:01pm: Funny
See what happens when i am bored out of my mind!!!!!

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